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Marge: Oh, look at that adorable spice rack!
Homer: Eight spices.
Marge: Oh, some must be doubles.
I have been surprised by the things I'm saving for sentiment's sake. Like spices. These were given to me by our former next-door-neighbor, Barbara, who lived in the house for 30 years. She moved out at age 80 to be with her boyfriend, Nate. She is my hero.
I can only imagine what it's like to move out of a house after 30 years. How full it would be of memories, and objects connected to memories. When she decided to sell, I told her I would take anything she was having trouble getting rid of. I said I would sort it and either keep the stuff or find it a good home. So I ended up with a number of odd things, including this little pot of French herbs, a whole lot of poppy seeds in various containers, and some saffron in a retro jar.
You've probably heard that spices are only flavorful for six months, and, if you're a cynic and a food ignoramus, like me, you've probably also wondered if such rumors were spread by Spice Island. Not so, says salon.com. According to the article i read, if you buy your herbs whole and grind them yourself, your spices can remain flavorful for a full year!
A full year? Give me a break. I doubt we have a single spice that is less than two years old. Calculating back from the ages of the babies who have been born in the house next door since Barbara left, I'm thinking she moved out at least seven years ago. And these spices were already old and faded when she gave them to me.
Happily, I had a brilliant idea for transitioning the unidentified "French herbs" into something that is at once aesthetically pleasing, functional and sentimental. I dumped the herbs and brewed up a pot of homemade Chapstick using the last of my honeycomb and a bit of oil. Now I have a lifetime supply of lip balm in a pleasing little jar that reminds me of Barbara and my honeybees.
And I still have at least eight spices on the rack.
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